.
At times it may ‘seem’ as if one flip-flops in and out of resting
in Whom one truly knows oneself to be.
.
Staying there ‘appears’ to be a struggle.
Where is the trust?
Do I trust my deep instantaneous knowing,
or do I return to my doubting mind,
a drowning man grasping at straws,
looking for evidence to find the trail back to my self,
which does not seem to be anywhere in sight.
.
A big gulp of Humility goes a long way.
Don’t panic and don’t beat yourself up.
The personal self has a lifetime of momentum
built up by little choices over and over
feeding its headlong forward drive.
.
In the blink of an eye
ingrained habits surface,
self-referential affirmations of experience,
navigated by thought and feeling,
creating a defining mood that limits and colours perception
and narrows the infinite horizon
back to the suffocating boundaries of Me.
.
Recognise the compulsion!
See the shift of focus as it happens,
with a clarity that instantly creates space
and let’s go of the illusion like wisps of smoke drifting before one’s eyes.
Awakening takes passion!
Sustained passion to counter the overwhelming push of the personal,
which lingers for as long as it can,
staining the pull to the centre
with expectations of what limitless looks like
and demanding a measure of control over it.
That is the trap.
.
When all known references disappear,
what need of a hand on the steering wheel?
There is no destination! One has already arrived.
.
Prepare to be disorientated.
It takes practice to trust in stepping into the unknown again and again.
The many facets of little me start to fall away.
The drivers of action lose their thrust,
and the need to fill the void with distractions simply evaporates.
And in this way the momentum of little personal me
slows down, losing its magnetic attraction.
.
This disintegration of parts is the deep integration of awakening.
Losing the multitude of personal identities
is the shedding of suits of armour, comedy-tragedy masks,
allowing me to breathe.
A full uninhibited inhalation of breath
with no tightness of the chest.
.
The bumpy landing is only the view from my limited self!
Recognising and trusting that
is the key
to the always open door.